This is my story navigating being a believer in God and Christ and having same gender attraction.

 When I arrived back to Utah and landed at the SLC airport, I took my sweet time because I didn't want to believe I was done being a missionary. Every other missionary was rushing to see their families and were really happy. I was not. I was in pain. I was afraid what my family would think of me. Getting that big hug from my mom was just what my soul needed. I just saw her 3 months prior, but it seemed like forever. The first thing she said to me was, "Laurel, we are so proud of you."  Those words is what my aching soul needed to hear. I love my family and the love they showed. Not many people knew I was coming home. It was obvious, because of the looks they gave me. Back then there was a stigma of "if a missionary comes home early, something must be wrong with them. Have they sinned? They must be unworthy." Let me clarify that stigma comes from people's thoughts and opinions and is not from the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  Growing up acting, I got good hiding m...

 The next 5 months were full of good experiences yet full of hardships. I was talking to my Stake President and he mentioned I should become a temple worker at the Logan Utah Temple. I was speechless, because it was the norm that the temple workers would be elderly people who are retired. Who am I as a 23 year old to be a temple worker? I prayed about it and I said yes. It was the best time. I learned of who I really am and what I am capable of.  I also got to assist the Sister Missionaries at USU. Queue another tender mercy. I knocked on their apartment door and opened the door. I saw Sister McMillan who I knew from my days at MTC. What a blessing. By getting to know these missionaries and working with them, it has helped me have the desire to go back out to San Diego and do everything I can to get my health better. Every time I thought of giving up, I had the biggest pit feeling. I knew my missionary work wasn't over. Being able to spend time with one of my first companions ...

 Sept 19, 2012 age of 23 I entered the MTC (Missionary Training Center) in Provo, Utah. I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was this is where I was supposed to be. New people, new place was very frightening. I had very little to no alone time. That was hard, because that is how I reset myself. I was set to be in there for 3 weeks. Learning the Gospel teachings and practice teaching. VERY frightening.  That was the hardest 4 weeks of my life. 4 weeks you say? Yes, I was really sick. I was taken to the hospital because I was in pain. After being injected with morphine, I saw EMT running inside the ER. I recognized one person. My Uncle Brian. It was a tender mercy to see him. Having a family member come and comfort me during this hard time. He called my parents and I got to talk to them a little. Trying to talk while loopy on morphine is well..interesting. I felt all the prayers which I am grateful for.  Saying goodbye to the other missionaries in my district broke my h...

 It is not a secret that I was raised as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. In this church, we have missionaries who dedicate their lives preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ from roughly 18-24 months. I always had a desire to serve. At the time, women had to be 21 years old. When I turned 21, I knew I wasn't ready. So I continued to go to BYU-Idaho.  There was a  time that I wanted to change my major, yet I was in my Senior year. My request wasn't granted. My heart was shattered. I was mainly sad that I would leave my friends. So I thought I would go and pray to see where I could transfer to. No answers over and over again. So I changed my prayers and ask what God would have me do. The answer came so clear. "It is your time to serve a mission." WHAT??? What will my parents think? They encouraged me to finish school first because that was most convenient.  I went to talk to my Bishop and he was very supportive. I got the bravery to tell my p...

  For those who have known me for awhile and my story, I mentioned that I would eventually share my story more in detail rather in scattered posts on my other social media posts. As you may have seen in my headliner, this is a blog following my story of being a believer in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit and also having same gender attraction and what I have learned and still learning to navigate those two things about me.  Here are some fun facts to get to know me: Hobbies: singing, playing the piano, tap dance, basketball, soccer and surfing The ocean is one of my favorite places. So peaceful I'm the middle child I love comedy improv My friends and family mean the world to me God means the world to me (I'll touch more on that as the story unfolds) I am happy to have you here.